I'm not really one to write about the latest issues and all. I mostly keep my opinions to myself. However, I have been meaning to write about this for a long time and I guess its worth an entry.
It relates to the status of women in our society. Yes, a lot has been said about it,I know. So whats the use of my opinions, well, I guess since I'm allowed to have opinions, I might as well share some of them.
First of all, I'd like to state that I'm no feminist.I simply believe in making things as equal and possible and hoping for the best, and trying to fix stuff in a clean way when they don't turn out for the best. Also, I assume you believe that the position of women needs to be improved in our society. That said...
The regular debates aside, what is the present status of women in our society? And what exactly is the reason for this state?
The usual socio-historical reasons aside, the shocking thing is the prevalence of orthodoxy in modern society. I’ve only read about the atrocities carried out on women in different parts of the world, and I don’t want to speak on those things of which I have no personal experience. So no opinions on the women of Pakistan and Afghanistan and such. I can only speak for the things I’ve personally seen, hence the talk of orthodoxy in modern society.
The youth of today is a much talked about and hyped subject of today, more of that in another post. But from the various magazines and newspaper articles, it is easy to gather that the youth of today is considered much more rational and open minded than before. So you would expect some liberal ideas from them. Well, I was in for a surprise.
Among my friends, there were some, who firmly believe that women are inferior to men. That any woman who has sex before her marriage is a class A slut. Any woman who is slightly open about relationships, wears revealing dresses of any kind, or wears an extra bit of make up is again a class A you know what. And a woman who smokes or drinks is well, out of the question.
What was shocking to me is that all of us, me and my friends fall into the youth category, and we are supposed to be open minded, yet I found some of my friends are still deeply rooted in orthodox ideas and have no qualms in believing them without question, and making illogical statements to prove their validity.
And let me just say that, I study in a college that is considered to be one of the most elite colleges in India, and its students some of the most progressive. And here too, I have seen how deep rooted this orthodoxy really is. Some of the most supposedly elite students are also some of the most conforming I have seen.
The irony here is that some people who are known for their, what shall I say, bad qualities, are also some of the most liberal I’ve seen. They seem to have a much more clear picture of the world and and posses ideologies which are much more impartial that the ‘elites’, which kind of turns the table.
Now up to here, I’ve been speaking of men. Another reason, in my opinion of the current status of women in our society is the conforming nature of some women I know. These women, also figuring among the youth, seem to be happy and content with the current stauts quo, which many people are protesting against. I don’t really know how this happens, and why these women don’t seem to be able to question the ideals that they are supposed to follow in order to be considered a ‘good woman’, but I can say that it is disturbing to me.
And here too the irony of the ‘bad’ being the one with the good ideas is present.
From my limited experience, I can say that the status quo is not maintained by one side only. Both men and women are responsible for this situation and the ‘youth’ needs to break free of this orthodoxy that many of them have, the existence of which some of them are not are not even aware. The important thing is to learn to question everything, even that which we are firmly told is right or wrong and come to a conclusion for ourselves instead of following the words of others. That said, the words of others are useful guidelines, and must be kept in mind while seeking answers. But the answer, in the end is for each one of us to find.
Please let me know what you think, comments and criticism are welcome.
It relates to the status of women in our society. Yes, a lot has been said about it,I know. So whats the use of my opinions, well, I guess since I'm allowed to have opinions, I might as well share some of them.
First of all, I'd like to state that I'm no feminist.I simply believe in making things as equal and possible and hoping for the best, and trying to fix stuff in a clean way when they don't turn out for the best. Also, I assume you believe that the position of women needs to be improved in our society. That said...
The regular debates aside, what is the present status of women in our society? And what exactly is the reason for this state?
The usual socio-historical reasons aside, the shocking thing is the prevalence of orthodoxy in modern society. I’ve only read about the atrocities carried out on women in different parts of the world, and I don’t want to speak on those things of which I have no personal experience. So no opinions on the women of Pakistan and Afghanistan and such. I can only speak for the things I’ve personally seen, hence the talk of orthodoxy in modern society.
The youth of today is a much talked about and hyped subject of today, more of that in another post. But from the various magazines and newspaper articles, it is easy to gather that the youth of today is considered much more rational and open minded than before. So you would expect some liberal ideas from them. Well, I was in for a surprise.
Among my friends, there were some, who firmly believe that women are inferior to men. That any woman who has sex before her marriage is a class A slut. Any woman who is slightly open about relationships, wears revealing dresses of any kind, or wears an extra bit of make up is again a class A you know what. And a woman who smokes or drinks is well, out of the question.
What was shocking to me is that all of us, me and my friends fall into the youth category, and we are supposed to be open minded, yet I found some of my friends are still deeply rooted in orthodox ideas and have no qualms in believing them without question, and making illogical statements to prove their validity.
And let me just say that, I study in a college that is considered to be one of the most elite colleges in India, and its students some of the most progressive. And here too, I have seen how deep rooted this orthodoxy really is. Some of the most supposedly elite students are also some of the most conforming I have seen.
The irony here is that some people who are known for their, what shall I say, bad qualities, are also some of the most liberal I’ve seen. They seem to have a much more clear picture of the world and and posses ideologies which are much more impartial that the ‘elites’, which kind of turns the table.
Now up to here, I’ve been speaking of men. Another reason, in my opinion of the current status of women in our society is the conforming nature of some women I know. These women, also figuring among the youth, seem to be happy and content with the current stauts quo, which many people are protesting against. I don’t really know how this happens, and why these women don’t seem to be able to question the ideals that they are supposed to follow in order to be considered a ‘good woman’, but I can say that it is disturbing to me.
And here too the irony of the ‘bad’ being the one with the good ideas is present.
From my limited experience, I can say that the status quo is not maintained by one side only. Both men and women are responsible for this situation and the ‘youth’ needs to break free of this orthodoxy that many of them have, the existence of which some of them are not are not even aware. The important thing is to learn to question everything, even that which we are firmly told is right or wrong and come to a conclusion for ourselves instead of following the words of others. That said, the words of others are useful guidelines, and must be kept in mind while seeking answers. But the answer, in the end is for each one of us to find.
Please let me know what you think, comments and criticism are welcome.
Well-deliberated and written, Somak.
ReplyDeleteI'll have to disagree with a few points though. It isn't the 'youth' we ought to blame. It is the mindset that this youth grows up with: The former generations. It is also misinterpretation of religion and moral values that gives birth to hypocrisy in terms of treating women equally. I intend on writing about that soon enough. I'm glad you spoke about it too.
About a woman being 'open' about her relationship or sexuality: It is as normal as a man doing the same. But since we live in the subcontinent, a cesspool of orthodoxy and paradoxes, we won't hear anyone criticizing the harlot-nature of a man. It's the woman that bears the brunt of it all.
Summing my rant up: Speak out, fight, argue and shun those who think that women are supposed to be the good little girls. We whistle, we sit with our legs open, we do what we please. It's a notion that men need to accept. And I'm so glad a young man like you already conforms to the idea of a free woman sans the societal hypocrisy.
You make me proud.
Thanks Mehreen. That means a lot to me.
ReplyDeleteThe youth does grow up with the ideas of the former generation, however, we now have a huge amount of information which is easily accessible, as well as ways to share it. Given hall these advantages, it is expected that the youth be more of free thinkers. The inability or reluctance to use these facilities and question themselves to break free from orthodoxy is what I'm criticizing.
Somak,
ReplyDeleteNice article. I think the reason why girls and boys end up how they are has got largely to do with their childhood conditioning. 'Obediency' is rewarded (which later manifests as conformism) and 'insubordination' is punished (which could potentially manifest as being independent later in life). Plus, the kids see how their parents behave - usually, the females are servile, whereas males are dominant. And this idea is further consolidated by a lot that happens in the media (including the Western arts).
On top of this, as you point out, all this has a lot to do with people not questioning the norms in the society. In fact, Indians don't question anything! You see, many students find the projects and assignments boring, but how many actually question whether we NEED them or not. People try to circumvent them, but never declare that they are unrequired. Same goes with customs.
Keep writing!